Parking.. It really isn’t rocket science

As many of you well know, people who can’t park are one of my biggest pet peeves. There are 2 effing lines on the pavement; you should have to stay in your effing car until your car is centered in between those lines... or go home!



Now if anyone here is a shitty parking offender, please contact me and I will personally teach you how to park… or show you where to get a bus pass.

                         

(I taught a 16 year old to parallel park with trash cans... full trash cans )

 Watching soccer moms parallel park in front of an elementary school is like watching a dog chase its tail… you almost feel bad for how stupid they are, but it is still really funny. I can also teach people to parallel park. It really is not that hard people.  

                                         

I work with a number of Asians who drive SUVs.. enough said.

Seriously Bro?

I hate you

YOU HAVE A TINY ASS BENZ!!!

(Notice: I always have to park on a spot on the edge with my own tires over the line)

So remember next time you are out with your car and need to park remember that there are bitches like me who have window markers in their car… and are not afraid to leave you a nasty note.. on your windshield… in pink and lime green.

So here is to not parking like an asshole.



New Year's Resolutions:

I can gladly say that I have NEVER made a new year’s resolution, nor do I intend to do so. I figure if I haven’t done whatever it is by now, a new year sure as hell isn’t going to change that. It drives me nuts how at the end/beginning of every year people vow to lose 20lbs, stop smoking, quit drinking, stop spending so much money, etc. Honey, if you haven’t done it by now a new calendar year probably isn’t gonna make you get off your ass and do it. Now I am sure there are exceptions to every rule and that people really do accomplish these things once every blue moon... good for them.

So people, if you are so intent on making some positive changes, why don’t you make some nice short term goals that you CAN accomplish instead of setting yourself up for yet ANOTHER failure. Huh? Like: Today I will not park like an asshole. Or, if you want a challenge maybe: today I will get off my lazy ass and go for a walk.  

Now if you really want to challenge yourself try a weekly goal: This week I will only order fast food once (or twice depending on your dosage).

If you can accomplish a daily and weekly goal, try a monthly one. Sometime this month I WILL visit one of those family members that I have been avoiding like the plague or those “friends” that I never hang out with anymore.. Yeah.. go ahead. Give it your best shot.

As for me I’m just going to make sure that this year (and every year) I look out for #1. It’s all about keeping me happy... because let’s face it... when I’m not happy, I can make sure that all those around me are miserable too.

Happy New Year Everyone. Make “good” choices and remember that good is subjective.